We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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