I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
