No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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