Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
