we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
there is glitter all over my balls
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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