I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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