girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
its liver damage thursday
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
