I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
