This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Two words: blizzard sex
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
