I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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