I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
