So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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