why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
