and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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