If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So apparently I’m into choking now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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