ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
