having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
