hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
