We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
