are you still at the devil's house?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
