my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
