i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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