SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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