I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
