felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
