We're like a lot better than the average bears
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize