She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
