dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize