maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was confusing and full of hummus
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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