Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
