i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
