I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
