my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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