well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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