Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
