White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize