perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
