I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize