So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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