??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
