Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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