Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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