Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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