so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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