i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
