I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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