margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize