she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
