Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We got so high we made milksteak
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
