WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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