dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
