I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
