I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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