Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
