I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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