She announced her abortion via fbk
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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