No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
