This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
