i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
