I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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