i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
